Courteous Mass Kicked My Bass

It started out innocently enough...a casual email from my friend Patrick, "attached are the details of the Courteous Mass bike ride. Emily is also planning on going - it's a really easy bike ride, so if it sounds interesting, maybe you and Jonathan could plan on meeting us there."

Little did I know it would be the bike ride now known as the "Courteous Mass that Kicked My Bass."

My plan was to join in on the first mini leg of the 5-6 mile route, that would conveniently take me over to Prince, left onto Milledge, and allow me to turn right onto Hill towards the flat easy streets of my house. With my printed out map cut into a small bite-sized morsel, I was ready to bike a whole mile.



"Do you need a map?" asked one of the BikeAthens volunteers.

"No thanks, I have one," I replied.

"Do you know the route has changed? We're going in reverse."

WTF?!? That meant my plan for early departure was canned. Did I dare attempt the entire ride? Since the route was reversed, there was no mini-leg I could choose that would allow me to turn around and find myself home any quicker than the proposed route. Suddenly the grim warnings of my orthopedic doctor were booming, lecturing me on how I should stay in bed 24/7 in a drug-induced stupor or else I'd have my back fused.

"You wouldn't even make it through a beginner's pilates class," I remembered my EX-physical therapist. That memory pissed me off enough to try the entire route.

We peddled our way through downtown, and zipped our way through campus, under the bridge, around the Ramsey Center, onto College Station, then right onto Riverbend.

Then it began -- the realization I might not make it back home without divine intervention. Riverbend Road may not look hilly from the car, but according to my legs and back, it might as well been a mountain. Half way through the hill, I decided I would walk the rest of the hill. Very soon the mass of riders passed us and it was just me and a very concerned Jonathan. We made our way to Milledge and finally joined the rest of the group. Luckily, the rest of the route was flat and pretty uneventful. By the time we made it to Hill, Jonathan and I left the group to make our way home. I laid under the fan with a heating pad under my back for about 30 minutes, marveling over the fact I made it the entire 5-6 mile route. I contemplated taking a pain pill, but opted for the promise of a cold beer.

Update: Patrick thinks the route was actually 8 miles instead of 5-6 miles.

Continuing Education

I've been entertaining the idea of going back to school. Not so much for a degree, rather for the devoted study of one thing and classroom discussion. I'm torn between exercise science (my possible fellow classmates scare me) and religion (again, my possible fellow classmates scare me).

It amazes me what someone can earn a degree in UFO Investigation...

www.flamelcollege.org/programs.htm

Or you can always attend Whore College:

www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1385068.html?menu=news.quirkies.sexlife

Modern Day Miracle

I find myself contemplating my belief system on a daily basis. Am I Christian, or am I an agnostic trying to cover all of my bases just in case?

Without question, I do believe that good and evil exist, rather than that good and evil are merely perceptions held by different people. I also believe I don't have the capacity to understand the bigger picture, and if there is a God, my human mind couldn't begin to wrap itself around the complexities of His existence. In an attempt to not drive myself batty, on most days I allow my gut-feeling to prevail, and believe there is a God and embrace the essence of Christianity, tring really hard to ignore George W. Bush and the King James preachers of the bible frustrate me. This is what faith is, right? -- believing despite your rational brain screaming, "seriously?!?"

Which now brings me to miracles. I propose that the following article illustrates a modern day miracle. I googled the word, and I'm going with Princeton's defition:

miracle: any amazing or wonderful occurrence

That's enough peeking into my mental panties...on to the article!

Police: Lions free kidnapped girl

ADDIS ABABA, Ethiopia (AP) -- Police say three lions rescued a 12-year-old girl kidnapped by men who wanted to force her into marriage, chasing off her abductors and guarding her until police and relatives tracked her down in a remote corner of Ethiopia.

The men had held the girl for seven days, repeatedly beating her, before the lions chased them away and guarded her for half a day before her family and police found her, Sgt. Wondimu Wedajo said Tuesday by telephone from the provincial capital of Bita Genet, some 560 kilometers (348 miles) west of the capital, Addis Ababa.

"They stood guard until we found her and then they just left her like a gift and went back into the forest," Wondimu said, adding he did not know whether the lions were male or female.

News of the June 9 rescue was slow to filter out from Kefa Zone in southwestern Ethiopia.

"If the lions had not come to her rescue then it could have been much worse. Often these young girls are raped and severely beaten to force them to accept the marriage," he said.

"Everyone in thinks this is some kind of miracle, because normally the lions would attack people," Wondimu said.

Stuart Williams, a wildlife expert with the rural development ministry, said that it was likely that the young girl was saved because she was crying from the trauma of her attack.

"A young girl whimpering could be mistaken for the mewing sound from a lion cub, which in turn could explain why they (the lions) didn't eat her," Williams said. "Otherwise they probably would have done."

The girl, the youngest of four brothers and sisters, was "shocked and terrified" and had to be treated for the cuts from her beatings, Wondimu said.

He said that police had caught four of the men, but were still looking for three others.

In Ethiopia, kidnapping has long been part of the marriage custom, a tradition of sorrow and violence whose origins are murky.

The United Nations estimates that more than 70 percent of marriages in Ethiopia are by abduction, practiced in rural areas where the majority of the country's 71 million people live.

Ethiopia's lions, famous for their large black manes, are the country's national symbol and adorn statues and the local currency. Former emperor Haile Selassie kept a pride in the royal palace in Addis Ababa.

Despite their integral place in Ethiopia culture, their numbers have been falling, according to experts, as farmers encroach on bush land.

Hunters also kill the animals for their skins, which can fetch $1,000, despite a recent crackdown against illegal animal trading across the country. Williams said that at most only 1,000 Ethiopian lions remain in the wild.

The Alsace Chronicles

Wow, I'm just a blogging maniac. It's just about the only thing I can trust myself to do while I'm on 500 mg of loratab and 20 mg of cyclobenzaprine.

How you doin?

Ok, so this really goes under the Germany Chronicles, but I'm not willing to figure out which chapter I am on that, so bah.

To sum up and transport you...it's December 2004, Jonathan and I are in Germany visiting Sherry and Christian. Are you with me?

First off, we all loaded up into Christian's Audi with broken headlight (remember this, because it will be relevant later on) and took the auto-BAHN through the Black Forest, and Baden Baden where people sit nekkid in hot springs (or something to that effect) and even made a pit stop at the barb wired remains of the Maginot Line before we found our way into the beautiful Alsace area. I'm a WWII buff, so the Maginot Line was a biggie for me to even be near, much less gawk at up close and personal.

So we were finally in France. It wasn't an overwhelming difference. Real shutters, brick shingles, wide-eyed and amazed Jinny. Sherry explained that the roses on the "Welcome to *insert French town name*" signs represented how aesthetically pleasing the town was by some French group that has the authority to judge that kind of thing. Some were 2 rose towns, while others were 3 or 4. Since I was in France, therefore impressed by their real wooden functional shutters and non-asphalt shingles, they were all 4 rose towns to me. Then came the almost climatic part -- the vineyards. We drove past an insane amount of vineyards, weaving their way up and down the foggy hills. I was in a Monet watercolor...bliss!

So we arrived, and I'm chagrined to report that I cannot remember which town we actually setup basecamp, so let's just leave it at we were in the Alsace.

SO I started this post on June 3rd and now it's the 14th...let's publish this pup and I'll continue later.

Roll coming attractions!

Stay tuned...there's a rude Frenchman and an odd police officer on the next installment of THE ALSACE CHRONICLES!

dog-cat

Yes, it's true. Bruce walks on a leash, and it was totally intentional.

Somewhere during his leash training, Bruce wised up that dogs walk on leashes, therefore, he must be a dog. I'm not quite sure how he came across this conclusion -- too many late night infomercials, talking to the neighborhood pets? Anyway, Bruce is 100% convinced that's he is a dog, and with the exception of using his litterbox, here is a list of his other "dog-like" characteristics.

• Understands and obeys the command "come." Even if you are on the opposite side of the house, he will come and...


• Understands and obeys the command "sit." Once he comes, you have to point to where you want him to sit or else he thinks you're crazy.


• Understands and obeys the command "back up." This is especially useful when he's near the wide open door leading out to our heavy traffic street.


• LOVES to play fetch. When we throw his toy, he runs after it and brings it back to us like a hyperactive golden retriever. Bruce never gets tired of fetch.


• Follows us around the house. He has to be nearby, and wherever we sit, stand, or lay, he must lay on the floor near us. He sometimes likes to lay near our lap, but has yet become a lap cat. Bruce has yet to realize that he's suppose to ignore us and act superior.


• He barks. No, just kidding, but he hasn't hissed EVER. I've never owned a cat that hasn't hissed.